Welp, here you go took me a while but it's finally here, Thanks to everyone who helped in the production of this video.
But again, this video is for comedic purposes only, I don not mean to offend anyone in anyway! Thankyou.
If you don't want to listen to my voice congrats here:
o What’s green and smells like pork? Kermit’s Fingers
o Why do dwarves laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls
o What’s the difference between a g-spot and a golf ball. A man will search for a golf ball.
o What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blond? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
o What type of bird gives the best head? A swallow.
o What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off.
o How do you give a hillbilly a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
o Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only cums once a year.
o What’s the difference between a priest and a pimple. A pimple waits until your 13 to come on your face.
o My girlfriend came up to me and said, “I shaved my pussy, do you know what that means? Yes, the shower drains clogged.
o How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change it and 9 to talk about how inspired they all are.
o My grandpa told me I rely too heavily on technology. “Sure, you hypocrite.” I said while unplugging his life support.
o What do rubix cubes and penis’s have in common? The more you play with them the harder they get.
o I would tell you a story about my dick but it’s too long.
o I would tell you a story about my pussy but you’ll never get it.
o How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? Blend Them… How do you get them out? Doritos.
o What do kids with cancer and good jokes have in common. They never get old.
o What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After 5 years, your job still sucks.
o Why are hurricanes normally named after women? When they cum they’re wild and wet but when they leave, they take your house and car with you.
o What’s the difference between hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
o What’s worse than waking up with penis’ drawn on your face? Learning that they were traced.
o Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
o Why don’t Mexicans have sex-ed and drivers-ed on the same day? Because you need to give the donkey a break sometimes.
o What do you call an IT teacher that touchers students? A PDF File.
o How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
o Roses are red, Lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me and hour.
o What’s the best way to respond when a girl asks, “what’s up”?
“If I tell you, will you sit on it?”
o What do you do when your cat’s dead?
Play with the neighbour’s pussy instead.
o When is it okay to beat up a dwarf? When he’s standing next your girlfriend saying that her hair smells nice.
o What does a slut say when her daughter asks how to spell “penis”?
“I wish you’d asked me last night, when it was on the tip of my tongue.”
o Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweat and sour.
o How is being in the military like getting a Blowjob? The closer to the discharge the better you feel.
o What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms. One’s a Goodyear and the others a great year.
o Why did the woman leave the man who spent thousands on penis enlargers? She just couldn’t take it anymore.
o What do you call two guys fighting over a slut? Tug-Of-Whore
o What do priests and Macca’s have in common? They both stick their meat in kids mouths.
o What did the black kid get for Christmas? My Bike.
o Why did God give men penises? So, they could have one way to shut women up.
o What’s the difference between a white dead baby and a black dead baby? 10 Minutes in the microwave.
o What’s good about having sex while camping. It’s intents.
o I like my woman how I like my scotch. 12 years old and mixed with coke.
o What’s the best thing about getting head? 5 minutes of silence.
o What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me I’m going in.
o Why did Hitler kill himself? Because the Jews sent him the gas bill.
o How do you pick up a Jewish girl? Go to Auschwitz with a dust pan and brush.
o What’s the difference between a girl and a washing machine? When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn’t follow me around.
o What’s the worst thing about being a paedophile? Trying to fit in.
o What do you call 5-year-old with no friends? A sand hooks survivor.
o What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can stop milking the cow after 10 years.
o How do you know you’ve got a high sperm count? You girlfriend has to chew before swallowing.
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